Cape Town

…because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot.

My dear friend sent me this passage – it resonates with me for various reasons – it is also that little gem that finds its way into your life at the right times.

I have only copied the first and last paragraph.

The entire piece can be found here:

https://www.facebook.com/NicoCanonArt?directed_target_id=0

‘You should date an illiterate girl.

Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the evenings too long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.’

“Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. Or, perhaps, stay and save my life.’

C. Warnke

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cocktails, Life, Restaurants

Tears to laughter in one easy ‘publish new post’ step

My home away from home, after work comfort.

I am spoiling myself with a large Inverroche Gin – locally made and beautiful –  with tonic and a cucumber!

ginIt is another deliciously warm night. The doors are open and you can smell the saltiness of the sea. There is a woman sitting outside who had the most beautiful laugh – one of those twinkly throat laughs that immediately catches your attention and intrigue. For a really long time I have been self-conscious about my laugh…well the thing is I feel like I never found my real laugh, that somehow I copied bits and pieces of laughter from other people.  Now I just smile with Chinese eyes and regurgitate bits of stolen sounds in a rather desperate attempt to make people believe I really DO find them funny! I can’t remember when last I giggled…I don’t think that can be manufactured.

It’s been an odd week, it feels as though the week never quite began, I foolishly didn’t do yoga, ate terribly and drank way too much. Monday was particularly bad; I started drinking a really expensive Port midday! I can’t allow these days to go by like this – seamlessly – with little to show for it.  It’s not healthy!  No worse than that; it’s not doing me any good!

I have temporarily given up on the Dukan Diet…  We have been going to some brilliant places to dine – to diet would be a crime!

Last night we ate at La Boheme. I had the chicken liver parfait and then a confit duck leg.  Should I gain a kilo – well it’s a gain I won’t bloody regret! Ah that sexy place never fails to deliver!

La boheme

I have re-discovered an old high school friend, one of the few who are still cool and not talking about babies, he plays guitar and gets ridiculously excited about everything and questions everything – he also had a dark, mischievous side which I really enjoy. One of those little thoughts that cross my mind…amazing the appearance of certain people into our lives and the right moments!

Well I’m going to nurse my Gin now and research recipes for lunch tomorrow – hopefully I’m having guests, which I hopefully won’t poison.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Cape Town

Truth

“I’m on a train.”

His voice sounded hard, defensive. I pictured him sitting there, head leaning back, his eyes dark, shifting uncomfortably. He had tried to put this off, master of avoidance – never wanting to feel the full consequences of his actions…always looking for the easy way out, a safe place, a warm body,  leaving trails of destruction behind.

I tried to keep my voice stable, I didn’t want to get high pitched – the question had to be asked, I needed the book to close.

“Are you living with her?”

“Yes, Yes I am”

 

 

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Cape Town

My cup runneth over

It’s one of those surprising evenings – where you step outside, it’s almost midnight and yet the air is almost warm on your skin. I am sitting next to my window which is wide open, drinking a glass of wine and this really isn’t winter…really!

We had a lovely night, the girls and I, finally made it to The Loading Bay on the one night of the week that they are open. A delicious craft beer – I forget the name, truffle skinny chips and a Beet burger.

We followed this with a cocktail / coffees at the Piano Bar – lovely and dark with a beautiful cat lurking round.

On my way home, as usual I started having conversations with him in my head.

“We went to the Piano Bar – remember how we loved it there?  How cool it was to just walk up the road. Remember when we had the Lebanese salad – it was so good! We also had a few arguments, you left me there once, and I can’t remember how it ended. “

 Oh how I regret the arguments now…

 I had a busy day today – it started with a therapy session. I decided I needed to figure out why such a strong woman as myself, has suddenly started crying at the drop of a hat. I know it is partly because I miss him, but to be honest – these waterworks have started causing me concern. Even speaking about them in this secluded little session – awakened a burning veil of tears that threatened to come dancing out my eye sockets. I found myself swallowing and swallowing. Why am I so angry? Why can I not stop crying?

” You cry because you are hurting” she said. Being strong all these years hasn’t helped me at all, because it seems I have used up my quota of being stoic and strong, my tears have been banked and there is nowhere left for them to be stored.

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Life, Literature, Matters of the heart, The search, Yoga - Gym - Health

yoga“I seriously believed he was my soulmate.”

“He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, and brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soulmate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let go of this one. It’s over. His purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of a situation you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you HAVE to transform your life, introduce you to your spiritual master and then beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over. Problem is, you can’t accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby — you’re just lickin’ at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.”

” But I love him.”

” So love him.”

” But I miss him.”

“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. Your’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of him because then you’ll really be alone, and you are scared to death of what will happen if you are really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand… if you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot — a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in — God will rush in — and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. Stop using him to block that door. Let it go.”

“But I wish me and he could…”

“See, now that’s your problem. You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.” ~ Eat, Pray, Love

I thought I would go through my blog roll today and check if my links were still relevant. First blog I checked had this excerpt from Eat, Pray , Love.  The perfect stumble…

Thank you Everything Yoga

“I seriously be…

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Cape Town, Life, Restaurants, Wine

Birthdays, Bubbly and a bloody Biospy…

It was bitter-sweet being back in Franschhoek. The Bad BF and I fell in love there – when I was still innocent and had no idea he already had a girlfriend. (Full story pending)
But the weather was startlingly beautiful and I enjoy making a fuss when its one of my close friends birthdays! We started with a bubbly tasting at Colmant  which was very impressive and I found myself rethinking many age-old beliefs around bubbly. It is a lovely farm and was a fantastic start. Then we went to Haute Cabriere for lunch – most of us opted for the set menu which comes with a wine glass pairing. I’m sorry but I cannot help but use these three little common words: Oh my God! I literally inhaled every dish, the wine choices were superb with the food – it was one of the best culinary journeys I have experienced in a really long time!

The following day – it was a walk on the high street, where I fell in love with a Pretoria born artist Karin Miller;I’m no art expert by any stretch of the imagination – but somehow she has this really gorgeous, pretty  and feminine way of being almost tongue in cheek about depicting some pretty hectic stuff….hahahaha that has to be the oddest critique ever written!

I would love to buy her coffee table book – I think it will be my birthday present to myself!Artwork-girl-holding-flower-option-4-copy_4Lets-do-lunch-final

We also went to into the previous estate of Graham Beck which is now Anthonij Rupert. The tasting room where we once enjoyed Graham Beck Bubbly tastings of R120 for about 10+ MCC’s,   was shut for the day, but apparently that room will be used for tastings of the Terra del Capo range and will be more Italian styled. We drove further than I have driven before to the beautiful and stately manor house where we tasted the Anthonij Rupert and Rupert and Rothschild wines (apparently R&R’s tasting room is closed for renovations) as well as an Olive Oil tasting.

It was a wonderful tasting – only thing is I am starting to see a frugal trend now among all estates – usually when you purchased wine, you didn’t have to also pay for your tastings – maybe times are tough but no one seems to be doing this any longer! As silly as it may sound, that was always a bit of an incentive for me to buy…not that I often needed any.

Sadly I woke up to a real FML Monday – a doctors visit and a biopsy. We wait and see now…

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Cape Town

Filling in the gap…

I’m not going to get specific – its been a pretty shitty time since the Optic nerve business…

I started smoking again and got deliciously skinny!

My job went from being my sole source of inspiration to your average job – in & out.

I fell head over heels in love with a bad boy who made me breathless.

It has been a big challenge but It has been exactly 122 days of not smoking and I am now working on getting rid of the weight gain from quitting using the Dukan Diet. I am trying very hard to break ties with the Bad boyfriend and find some closure – which is why I think I am harnessing the power of words once again.

Its always the bad ones that keep a hold on you!

Ive gone back to yoga – one of the mantra’s you often use in yoga – Is letting go of the things that no longer serve you! If I can kick cigarettes I shouldn’t have a problem kicking carbs or feelings of romantic wistfulness directed in the wrong way…Really and truly I shouldn’t!

 

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