It has been a week of silence, then of fighting and finally exploding into one nasty, mean and soul destroying argument! We aren’t good, he is miserable I hope we can get through this!
When I feel hurt I have the tongue of a serpent – I turn into the devil incarnate! I don’t mean all the things I say – and I think I just reach a point of no return. He doesn’t say anything back which allows me to carry on – relentlessly, shamefully. His anger reaches the forefront the following day and then he is not at all shy to let me know exactly what he thinks of my behaviour.
I found these really lovely words by Barbara Sher. I hope he can understand.
“People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen. When someone attaches unkindness to criticism, she’s angry. Angry people need to criticize as an outlet for their anger. That’s why you must reject unkind criticism. Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish. Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”
Thankfully I have the rest of this week and next week off for study leave. I am just hoping and praying that he can let go of his anger and we can find some peace with each other.