I wonder how you are doing. I am sure you are pissed off about not being able to watch the rugby tomorrow. Oh well – I am not worrying about your disappointments at the moment.
I am not having a great day today. I am weary about facing the weekend. I really miss having someone to talk to. I have really never felt so alone in my entire life. I feel almost invisible. It is amazing how many things in my life I am actually disappointed with. When I was with you and we were planning a future I could just about deal with anything. But now there seems to be very little purpose. I am not ready to substitute my old dreams for new ones, I can’t really think about an hour from now – let alone my future. I am so disappointed with myself for staying with a man who didn’t love me. I feel so sad that it turns out I am a pathetic person who stayed with you for so long – knowing that you will never give me everything I want in life. I feel so scared thinking that I may not get another chance to find love and to get married and start a family. I am so sad for the sadness and disappointment my family will feel when I tell them the truth. So much of my pride will be dissolved; so much of my spirit will be dampened and hardened. I am not an easy person, I don’t make friends easy and because of you I am in a city all alone.