My determination was steadfast. Despite the fact that the first of my mere two whiskey’s was in fact green, despite the fact that there was a very lifelike Leprechaun dancing gleefully around room, handing out Gold coins and even despite the fact that the music was oddly but rather brilliantly a type of Celtic punk. I was going to stay calm. The lovely mischievous barman then removed his shirt; having seen my fair share of naked men’s chests recently, this didn’t wholly surprise me, but I am guessing that was a good time to leave. There was a moment, at the last destination where I stood on the edge, it was going to go south quickly but luckily I had two very good people who somehow managed to reel me back in and keep my somewhat tarnished angels’ wings in check.Sadly an early night was still far from my reach as I got home, ready to have a final smoke on my balcony only to find the entire city smoking. So I called my ex – habit I guess…I also knew he would be awake.
“The whole mountain is on fire!”
“No seriously, like the whole mountain, there is smoke everywhere.”
“We had been having far worse fires in the winelands, they will stop it.”
” No you don’t understand, TABLE MOUNTAIN!”
” It will be fine, go to sleep”
I then called him five minutes later with the latest development.
“People are being evacuated from their homes!”
“Yes we have had the same thing here. How do you know?”
I really wanted to say from Twitter, but somehow it seemed to lack some sort of authority, or maybe made me feel somewhat nerdish…
“I was just online.”
“Okay you will be fine, (bless him) now go to sleep.”
At this point I wasn’t sure if I was dramatic enough, so I called him again. He would definitely thank me in the morning when he tells his friends.
“I can actually SEE the flames – it is the WHOLE mountain” I then coughed for more of a dramatic effect.
“Feeling a tad restless tonight are you?”
I had to admit defeat at this point. Shame I am sure he thought he was rid of my late night drama’s. Must find myself a late sleeper friend…
An Irish toast to ya:
May your glass be ever full
May the roof over your head be always strong
And may you be in heaven an hour
Before the devil knows you’re gone