Relief in a loss

Finally. The cloud has blown over. Maybe it was due to last night’s company or perhaps it was sitting on my balcony watching the lightning light up the city but I feel as though the darkness has dispersed somewhat. Actually I think it is more simply, as a man would probably reason, because May has two days left. Keep It Simple Stupid! Actually I have also discovered that I am not alone, I even have a diagnosis :Seasonal affective disorder. According to Mr Wikipedia:

Symptoms of SAD may consist of: difficulty waking up in the morning, tendency to oversleep as well as to overeat, and especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain. Other symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities. All of this leads to the depression, pessimism, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder.”

Mmmnn marvellous. Apparently Light therapy and vitamin D can help alleviate these symptoms. I’ll take yoga, salsa and the occasion bottle of cab with friends as more glam alternative.

From now on I will be prepared for May. It has been documented, my own personal trend analysis. Work has been gruelling, exasperating to the point of tears. At night my battles kept playing out in my head, calling for more and more backup, more armour – that awful feeling when everyone’s always staring at me, waiting for me to trip and fall. Thankfully a heart to heart with someone who knows, has cleared the air and lightened my load. I really do adore my boss – in the most platonic way! Platonic is such a strange word. Sounds like some energy drink. So I had to google it..very interesting stuff, it is quite a heavy word…a meaning before and a meaning after Plato.

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of Plato or his philosophy: Platonic dialogues; Platonic ontology.

2. often platonic Transcending physical desire and tending toward the purely spiritual or ideal: platonic love.

3. often platonic Speculative or theoretical.

[After Plato.]

Word History: Plato did not invent the term or the concept that bears his name, but he did see sexual desire as the germ for higher loves. Marsilio Ficino, a Renaissance follower of Plato, used the terms amor socraticus and amor platonicus interchangeably for a love between two humans that was preparatory for the love of God. From Ficino’s usage, Platonic (already present in English as an adjective to describe what related to Plato and first recorded in 1533) came to be used for a spiritual love between persons of opposite sexes. In our own century Platonic has been used of relationships between members of the same sex. Though the concept is an elevated one, the term has perhaps more often been applied in ways that led Samuel Richardson to have one of his characters in Pamela say, “I am convinced, and always was, that Platonic love is Platonic nonsense.”

Adjective

friendly or affectionate but without physical desire: platonic love BC). The concept of `platonic love’ between people of opposite sexes is based on a passage in one of his writings.

I am glad that the big football game didn’t result in tears over a Prego roll like last year, the fear of going home again, seeing my parents concerned faces – the inevitable rubber tyre of pity suffocating me. No the big game of the season is over. A very different result to the last one and while many around me lament Manchester United’s loss, I am quite happy that I too face a different outcome going home this time, head held high and full of stories. I am also happy to enjoy a quiet respite from being the number one topic of conversation at the workplace. Tales of anger, disappointment and elation in the soccer fans have superceded nefarious tales of sexual encounters staring moi. Good.

It is Friday, my own personal recession is over and I am chasing quality over quantity as a new firm resolution. In all things big and seemingly, perhaps deceptively, small.

Beautiful photo by Janine Lessing
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4 thoughts on “Relief in a loss

  1. Was so great to see you again last nite babe, felt like it had been ages! Salsa clinic tomorrow is going to be fun 🙂

    The lightning last night was awesome indeed!

  2. Spear that sounds pretty hectic! I couldnt cope indoors for that long! Hope you manage to get some rest soon!

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