He had on a baseball cap and seemed completely mesmerised by the music. I liked the sound of his laugh. It wasn’t a place I would normally frequent. Dark with illuminous colours – but the music is infectious so I couldn’t resist. Once again I found myself on the dance floor. Keeping me in trouble or out of trouble – seems like it can go either way. I have quite an unusual assortment of friends, the friends who took me out this particular evening are of the recently married variety, the type that like to forget they are married every now and then. Me: the happy passenger.
Now the boy with the baseball cap wakes me up each morning with a delightful sms he then bids me goodnight and I find myself smiling at the ease of his nature and uncomplicated affection. It is wonderfully refreshing.
From cigarette to cigarette I am throwing myself into a smoky indulgence of nicotine before I head to rehab. To say farewell to my pernicious friend and hello to the new me. I like the idea of reinventing myself. Perhaps it is the power of acknowledgement. We are merely who we perceive ourselves to be – with a bunch of random facts thrown in for measure. So there is a degree of bliss in discovering change is entirely possible.
Rich experiences provoking cosmopolitan thoughts. I am enjoying the richness of it all. Champagne under a pseudo sky with stars, dinner with the family and a gurgling happy one year old – bouncing in her seat in time to the background music. Pure joy in holding a piece of Ciabatta. I have never seen such a happy child before! She is an absolute delight! Lunch with the boy and his mischievous smile. Yoga – focusing on the core – trying really hard to flatten the stomach and then the late salsa nights; Ha thief of sleep. I have also lost my feet somewhere…coordination much needed and lacking.
It is hard not being distracted by the promise of Friday. A fresh weekend waiting to be unwrapped. Many plans, many phone calls and maybe a tiny modicum of peaceful time. In bed with a book – perhaps?