I am quite simply in a state. Doing anything and everything to avoid thinking about Friday. The day I stop smoking and the hellish weekend I am imagining lying ahead. I am putting great trust in these Alan Carr people. I hope they will tell me if it is solitude or company I will require – perhaps it will dangerous to be around people. Am I going to need a fully stocked fridge ? Tranquillizers?
I met a healer yesterday. That is his profession – his full time job. He is a healer. I sat with him and my friend in a sunny courtyard yesterday afternoon. Their beers looked delightfully cold. A cold beer on a warm winter’s day – my glass of tap water was sadly pale in comparison – despite its desperate attempt effort to look pretty with of a garnish of lemon. He told me to buy something called “substance abuse flower essence’. To help me with quit for good. Apparently it is supposed to improve self disciple. Hell I am willing to try anything, but walking into the Wellness centre and asking for such an elixir will prove to be quite interesting.
I am about ready to tear out my hair! It really doesn’t help than I had to end a little romance this week – he was sweet, but suspicious – I found myself getting annoyed, alarm bells ringing. He also smoked – so maybe it is a good thing. I think it is the most logical thing I have done in a really long time.
Logic – not a friend of mine.