No time to delve into the inner workings

I am quite simply in a state. Doing anything and everything to avoid thinking about Friday. The day I stop smoking and the hellish weekend I am imagining lying ahead. I am putting great trust in these Alan Carr people. I hope they will tell me if it is solitude or company I will require – perhaps it will dangerous to be around people. Am I going to need a fully stocked fridge ? Tranquillizers?

I met a healer yesterday. That is his profession – his full time job. He is a healer. I sat with him and my friend in a sunny courtyard yesterday afternoon. Their beers looked delightfully cold. A cold beer on a warm winter’s day – my glass of tap water was sadly pale in comparison – despite its desperate attempt effort to look pretty with of a garnish of lemon. He told me to buy something called “substance abuse flower essence’. To help me with quit for good. Apparently it is supposed to improve self disciple. Hell I am willing to try anything, but walking into the Wellness centre and asking for such an elixir will prove to be quite interesting.

I am about ready to tear out my hair! It really doesn’t help than I had to end a little romance this week – he was sweet, but suspicious – I found myself getting annoyed, alarm bells ringing. He also smoked – so maybe it is a good thing. I think it is the most logical thing I have done in a really long time.

Logic – not a friend of mine.


7 thoughts on “No time to delve into the inner workings

  1. When i give up something all i ask myself is (insert my name) can you get through today without it. i need a drink but itz lent, although itz st patrick’s day and everyone is drinking, i feel like drinking so i pose the question. generally i can get thru’ that day, that moment. and so it goes. if i do relapse, i don’t beat myself up, i simply start again and just ask myself the next day can you get thru’ today, i’m only ever interested in ‘today’

    i also substitute things because there is bound to be a ripple effect.

    bon courage when you begin bon courage when it begins

  2. We’ll be here to support you when you quit and I’ll even make a point of not smoking anywhere near you!

    As far as the romance goes, you know that I’m on your side with this one – good move!

  3. 302 – so far I haven’t quite figured out what my substitutions will be, apparently the first three days are the worst, so I plan on filling them with many yoga classes, a trip to the Spa and a complete flat cleaning, including defrosting my fridge and rearranging my cupboards. I just don’t know what to expect – I have never been good at depriving myself.

    Chris M – Thank you so much. I hope I don’t turn into one of those nasty ex-smokers who can’t handle smoke around me – I would hate that!

    Thanks Louisa, the fact that you sat quite comfortably with me smoking in front of you is very encouraging – unless you were wearing a brave face! 😉

  4. i’ve stopped and started a LOT. allen carr kinda worked for me but then it didn’t cos a part of me is ok with being a nicotine addict. which is sucky and stupid. and i plan to stop again at the end of the week…i think, or something like that…

  5. Gosh Dorothy I hope I wont decide to be ok being a nicotine addict – it is almost like you have given me an ‘out’ haha! It sounds tempting round about now!! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s