Ah Bless – what did you do?
My fantastic and incredibly thoughtful friend Rox organised a surprise ‘last week of smoking party’ for me last night! She insisted I meet her for a drink thoughout the week and I almost cancelled a thousand times – because, well I have been feeling pretty shockingly miserable lately!So when I arrived, it was pretty amazing to see all my friends sitting outside on the cold veranda – so I could chain smoke in peace. Warms the cockles of my heart it does! Instead of feeling elated and happy and excited – I found myself feeling horribly emotional almost to the point of tears. It was with great alarm that I turned to my gorgeous friend ModelM and said “I just don’t know what is going on with me?” We decided it probably has something to do with the alignment of the planets as she, a fellow Scorpio also hasn’t had the easiest of weeks. We then lost a game of foosball to two Joburg boys – lost dismally which seems to quantify this theory. In all fairness it was our first game. Ever.
Today I pulled out my file of papers from the Alan Carr people, to make sure I have directions to this little place of exorcism and reread the pre-clinic instructions. The last point is stated as such:
“When smokers think about quitting, they can experience feelings of doom and gloom, depression, panic or even fear. Rather try to think about your Easyway Clinic appointment in a positive way, with feeling of excitement and challenge. Think to yourself “Wouldn’t it be marvellous to leave the Clinic already free of the whole filthy nightmare.”
Oh Okay – this makes sense. I really am making a big drama out of this whole thing. The way I am carrying on anyone would think I’m amputating my right leg. I have a vague idea about getting through the weekend. Friday is all about the shopping, Saturday is all about yoga and getting a massage. I have no idea how I will be feeling, apparently you also start coughing hectically – which sucks – but I suppose it is the better of two evils.
I am going to stop thinking about this now – my spa appointment has been booked and all that left to do is write out a shopping list – I am contemplating doing some baking – I have been craving banana loaf for a while now…you see, already I am turning bland!
This is my last day at work as a smoker – I will miss my chats and relationships I have made with the others – there is an unspoken understanding amongst smokers that builds friendships easily. I wonder if this means I will be shacked to my desk for hours on end…
To my dear friends – thank you, thank you, thank you and allow me to apologise beforehand for the raging bitch you might have to encounter soon!