First day back – smack

It’s a well know fact that ultimately the people you work with have the biggest effect on your day to day levels of comfort in the workplace. Its problematic, because unlike your friends and very much like your family, you don’t get to pick them. I am just trying to zone out, build a couple of imaginary walls around my chair. A Reticent reclusive f off look on my face

I just want to get through to the other side. I would like to rather not care. I would like to not care about a great deal of things at the moment. They are curdling in the pit of my stomach. Of course it is the first day back at work. Nothings taints quite like the darkness that comes at the end of holidays.

I am not a fan of routine – I am not thrilled of the prospect of it swallowing me up whole. So this is the year for even more changes.

Resolutions and plans for 2010

1. Career and study plan. Research, set some goals, be realistic but brave. Write more. Read more.

2. Start gym and jogging , but keep up with yoga.

3. Wear more colour. Try to only buy colour.

4. Try to be less sensitive, stand my ground more and listen to my instincts.

5. Look after my home, start improving it, spend more time alone.

6. Change my Sunday blues attitude. Emotional times are often born from fatigue. Change this.

7. Strive to be on time

8. Listen more, talk less.

9. Sort out my car, get a post-box and renew British passport.

10. Buy a couch, get a TV, buy a laptop.

Other than that, I really hope for inspiration, to be surrounded by good people. To be a good friend, sister, daughter. To keep certain fears at bay. To find a creative outlet. To achieve success on that level. To not feel lost. To be excited and thrilled and breathless. To travel and have some great adventures.

God it all sounds so boring really…no wonder I didn’t do this last year. Maybe I am just in an evil mood!

Back to the darkness…


5 thoughts on “First day back – smack

  1. what about reading 20 books.

    looks like a brave list already.

    come run on the promenade when you’re ready. always travel, even if it’s only mentally at time.

    black n white movies and whisky some sundays?

    never stop learning even if you are not studying. but know that studying requires focus and academia has it’s own blues, still i recommend it.

    and you can write more, it’s a somewhat dormant or latent talent that you should definitely develop.

    and, and you are doing fine, your life’s full of colour. the work well it’s the dirtiest four-lettered word, it needs managing (yip easy for me to say i’m on leave).

    and, and, and you’ve got your list bon courage! at nibbling away at it.

  2. I know that dreaded back to work feeling all too well – I have a great work environment and it still sucks! Today was a *tiny* bit quicker than yesterday, but still longing for holidays. Sigh…!

    Good luck with the goals, just take them one day at a time and you will kick this year into awesomeness. 🙂

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