Sober intentions

06:30 in the evening. Four cups of coffee down. Reports sent. It is dark outside and my clothes smell of incense. I brought this pack in Kalk Bay – why haven’t I been back there for so long? I can imagine sitting at the Brass Bell right now…the waves angry and frantic – it must be freezing and dramatically gloomy that side of the world – I must go back soon. The incense promises happiness…I am avoiding the red wine with its guaranteed delivery of joy and numbness – because I know the upward climb in the morning will be filled with sad and frustrated demons,  clawing their way through resolve and good intentions.

Fine line between love and hate they say. What the hell is that actually supposed to mean? Is it because they are equally as powerful in the emotions they evoke? Because I feel that way about the weather – love how it makes me feel, the thoughts, the wistfulness, the provocation and seduction of nostalgia. Yet I also know that there will come a time when my head is too full. That I may retreat and no amount of incense and red wine will be able to serve as an antidote.

There is a great amount of chatter around me, to drown out the sounds – I have Nick Cave in my ears – Red Right Hand. It’s all good. Meaningless.

He’ll rekindle all the dreams

it took you a lifetime to destroy

He’ll reach deep into the hole,

heal your shrinking soul

But there won’t be a single thing

That you can do.

He’s a god, he’s a man,

he’s a ghost, he’s a guru

They’re whispering his name

through this disappearing land

But hidden in his coat

is a red right hand

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3 thoughts on “Sober intentions

  1. Hahahahaha, nice one kyk!

    I happen to like Nick Cave too… let love in actually one you should avoid though.

    When your head and heart are too full, I will drag you out for Patron – or even better, oysters and red wine at Brass Bell!

    One step at a time lady, one step at a time.

  2. Kyk –Banana’s in Pyjamas are coming down the stairs, Banana’s in Pyjamas are everywhere dumdee dumdum…. might take me to some other place…may be a happier place, I’m going.

    Rox – I know I can always count on you my delightful fiendish friend! 🙂
    Brass Bell – we must make a plan!

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