Sleepless in the city

This heat is a bitch – and yet somehow I am in love with its complete lack of consideration. It is a somewhat small reminder as to just how irrelevant we are in the great scheme of things. Hello the universe cares not for your desires – no matter how strong your will, irrespective of how much you deem yourself successful, powerful, relevant; karmically correct The world we inhabit, feels nothing for our perceived inconvenience and goes on as it should.  Beyond any ounce of our control. But its fine,  I am grateful for any bit of goodness that falls in my path. I am exuberant by the smallest of events.  I am happy knowing that there are just some things you can’t control.  Exhale.

The city is hot and people are going through many emotions – there is that possibility of a fresh start, a healthier start, the chance to have a whole year of not making any bad mistakes, of eeking out the good life, being more grateful, less angry, less impatient, and more tolerant. Giving up bad habits, working harder, traveling more and fighting less. We are such creatures of good intentions and earnest desires. Yet – really we have no control.

So what is the secret or the answer to living well, making the most out of 365 days of the year? How do we improve ourselves, find honest love, sincere friendships, great passion and sturdy confidence? Sometimes I think the answer might be within our gut – the very thing that make no logical sense – that no one can point to and poke – the intangible – the spiritual – our instinct. That feeling you have deep inside – when you want to scream with laughter at the most meager attempts of hum our or burst into tears at the mere suggestion of someone else’s pain. What is it that makes us numb when compassion is too obviously the desired outcome?

There really is no truth. The only thing we can rely on is that we are completely helpless when it comes to the forces of nature and the realization that no other person in this world sees this world – this life – this journey in the same way. It is insanely, exciting and wonderful and at the same time earth grounding and humbling.

More often than not I really don’t like the places in my head where my thoughts drag me – why is that negative thought s and desolation are such hungry, insatiable rich harvesting places for the mind to imbue.

Then there is the physical. There isn’t too much one can do about that either. Unless plastic surgery lies in your path as a saviour. I despise that as an option. All I know is that I like unforgettable – recognizable, distinguishable, a star in the mundane of a toneless night sky. I like that. I appreciate that. Be different and proud – because under the skin – we are all different.  It’s the spice of life.


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