Wake up walk the dog – try to shake the coma like sleep from my eyes, dive into the pool, enjoy the numb seconds underwater. Get showered get dressed lock up the house, drive to work – try to be calm and admire the view. Get to work- coffee run, food , pacify the beast in my belly. Work, meetings, try to stay on top of things, email, meetings. Yoga. One hour bliss and twisted contortion. Meditation. Gratitude. Back to work. Reports, meetings, making history. So much admiration. Love for the work. Catch up with an old friend. Serenity in a margarita. Try to not feel guilty about being unable to do Feb detox month for a good cause. Shaking desire for a foul cigarette. Facebook – friends – all gorgeous, brilliant and funny. Heartwarming. Long windy drive home – worry about a little dog who gets a fright from his tail. Alarm off home, dishwasher, washing machine, feed the dog, play ball with the over enthusiastic dog. Calm down drunk neighbor who is complaining about dogs barking. Lap top on. Emails. Things I missed. Emails with the subject matter; “Did you get my email?” annoying. Worry. Need electricity. Need new phone. Need wireless. Need a car. In bed. Tooth ache – need a dentist. Need to make lists. Late at night more like early in the morning, I die. Death like sleep. Crazy demented happiness.